


And so, they were both bottoms

by LesbianDragon_LD



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Edeleth, Edelgard and Byleth both feel like bottoms and both are stubborn, Established Relationship, F/F, Joke Fic, Mild Sexual Content, Nothing too explicit though, crack fic more or less, don't take this fic too seriously please, edeleth being dorks, sad attempts of seduction, straps flying around, you can see where this is going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27950522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbianDragon_LD/pseuds/LesbianDragon_LD
Summary: Exactly what the title says;Edelgard and Byleth are both in the mood, but none wants to top the other that night.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	And so, they were both bottoms

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this fic too seriously, as it's really just a short fic for a dumb meme.  
> I'm sorry if you expected any smut like what I usually do, but this time around I wanted to write something different that is a bit more light and (hopefully) funny. The fic was also voted for on a poll I made on twitter. I no longer do followers special polls like I used to, but I do make fic polls on occasion. In case you want to check that out, expect a surprise one from time to time. 
> 
> I'm also a bit burned out from this ship, as much as I love them, and in general I'm just burned out from writing fics and due to other cicumstances in my life that aren't going so well lately. So I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone with this fic in regards to quality or lack of excitment or something of sorts.
> 
> I'm also sorry for restricting the comments to registered users only, in case you missed that note on my last fic. I'll be restricting all of my fics so that only registered users can comment from now on, because of horrible stalkers who overstepped their boundaries. It's unfortunate, but I'm tired of this situation and I need to prioritize my mental health. Sorry for the inconvenience though.

The Adrestian imperial couple had just finished their dinner, and they were heading back to their private chambers as they joyfully chatted with one another.  
The day had been particularly boring, and Byleth quietly chuckled at Edelgard’s jokes, making fun of her dreadful meetings she endured that evening.  
They made their way to their chambers, but once they finally reached the door to their room, the mood changed completely.  
The jokes and the laughter stopped, as Edelgard looked around the corridor to check if they had privacy. As she didn’t see anyone, she stood on the tip of her toes to give her wife a kiss on the lips. Byleth was a bit surprised, but still pleased of course.

“Eager today?” Byleth softly smiled, as Edelgard huffed;

“I waited all day to be alone with you. Alone-alone.”

The emphasis on those last words made Byleth realize that her wife wanted what she wanted as well, as much as Byleth wanted it.  
So, excited, Byleth opened the door to lead her wife inside, before locking the door behind them.

“I waited all day too, El…” Byleth purred as she turned around, only to see her wife already working on removing her cape, letting it fall to the floor.

“Oh?” Edelgard licked her lips, as she continued to strip for her wife, “in that case I do think I have a gift you’ll enjoy…”

Byleth moved closer, embracing Edelgard and kissing up her neck.

“Funny, my love, I also have a gift for you…” Byleth started.

“I’m sure it can wait, Byleth,” Edelgard continued, removing Byleth’s clothes as she kissed her jaw, “I’m so tired and frustrated today…”

“And I’m so excited, my love…” Byleth insisted.

“Not as excited as I am, my lovely…” Edelgard insisted.

“El…”

“Byleth…”

They shared more kisses, each of them pampering their half-naked wife as more and more garments and pieces of clothing fell to the floor.  
And they both exclaimed, at the same time:

“You can do whatever you want with me tonight!”

Both stopped immediately.  
They stared at each other awkwardly, both their faces becoming increasingly flustered.  
There was a solid moment of painful silence that filled the air, before any of them could say anything to break it;

“I...I’m too tired to lead, today-” Edelgard embarrassingly confessed first.

“W-well? I don’t feel like being on top-” Byleth confessed after, equally embarrassed.

They both fell silent again.

“Byleth, come on,” Edelgard started, now a bit impatient, “I’m always on top. I’m giving you a chance to be a bit more dominant, my love…”

“Exactly!” Byleth protested, “you’re always on top, El! Because it’s good when you’re on top. We both love it that way, and you are very good-”

“Tsk! Flattery will get you nowhere, you know?” Edelgard huffed, her face bright red, “maybe, I want to be pampered and have you do the work once in a while, you know? It’s always me, so today you should be the one who takes care of me, however you want to. I do like to give myself to you on occasion, so I’ll admit that tonight is one of those nights.”

Edelgard crossed her arms, embarrassed as she was determined.  
So Byleth gently cupped her face, kissing her as an apology.

“My El, that is so sweet,” Byleth started, “but I really do feel like having you be the dominant one. I want you to take care of me tonight, and you can do whatever you want to me...pretty please?”

One look at Byleth’s face, and Edelgard somehow turned from bright red to redder.

“N-no! Cut the puppy eyes look! I can’t top tonight!” Edelgard protested.

“Well, and I can’t top tonight either!” Byleth protested as well.

“Then I guess this means we both go to bed, frustrated and wet, and none of us have any fun tonight!” Edelgard huffed, slightly more annoyed than what she intended as she marched to bed.

But as she did, Byleth noticed that Edelgard seemed to swing her hips on purpose as she walked every step...and Byleth noticed her bend over on the bed, showing Byleth her naked rear as if to tease her more.

“What are you doing?” Byleth asked her wife.

“Me? Oh, nothing special,” Edelgard feigned ignorance, “just getting ready for bed. And, of course, if the Ashen Demon likes what she sees, she can come get it like the fierce warrior that she is…”

Now it was Byleth’s turn to turn red.  
She wanted it.  
Oh heavens how she wanted 'it.'  
She wanted to take what was rightfully hers and show her bratty wife her place...but not as much as she wanted her Emperor to put her in her place.  
And her desire to be topped was far greater than the desire to give her wife what she wanted tonight. After all, if Edelgard was going to play difficult, two could play that game, right?

“Well,” Edelgard continued, taunting Byleth as she flaunted her rear, “are you going to do something?”

When her wife didn’t reply, or even touch her as Edelgard desired, Edelgard turned around...and was shocked, and aroused, to see her wife leaning against the door, completely naked...with her hand in her-

“Like what you see, my Emperor?” Byleth teased, with one hand deep inside herself, “oh, and please Your Majesty, close your mouth if you’re going to stare at me…”

In an instant, Edelgard got up from the bed and moved to meet her wife.  
She got on her knees in front of Byleth and, for a moment, Byleth assumed that she had won.  
She assumed that her wife got too tired and aroused, and that she was ready to grab her thighs and make her beg for-

“I’ll only do things to you if you order me to!” Edelgard let out, with a smug smile on her face.

“What? No!” Byleth huffed, as she even stopped touching herself, “come on, El! Tell me to beg!”

“No.” Edelgard replied, in her most bratty tone, “if you want my mouth on your ‘lips’, you’ll have to hold my head and order me to do it.”

Byleth crossed her arms.

“Then I won’t, El.”

And Edelgard crossed her arms.

“Fine. Then I’ll just stay on my knees in front of you and not eat you out.”

Byleth eyed her wife, who was now licking her lips to tease her.  
When Edelgard pressed a light kiss over Byleth’s clit, Byleth almost jumped.  
She couldn’t let her wife win.

“Then I won’t let you seduce me first, vile woman!” Byleth cried out as she moved away, jumping straight into bed.

Edelgard assumed that her wife had given up and that she’d simply rather sleep than admit defeat...but alas, she was wrong, as Byleth reached under the bed to take out her ultimate weapon.

“You wouldn’t dare-!” Edelgard started to threaten her. But it was too late.

Byleth took out a well hidden and discreet box, taking out the bright red strap that was hidden inside it. Slowly, she turned to Edelgard, locking eyes with her wife...before giving her strap a lick.  
It was Edelgard’s turn to desperately cry out:

“That’s cheating!”

“Nu-uh…” Byleth quietly moaned, shaking her head before her lips wrapped around the strap, ready to suck off the toy. A move that drove Edelgard insane with lust, as Byleth knew her well.

To Byleth’s surprise, Edelgard tackled her on the bed, trying to take the strap away from Byleth’s mouth. She was on top of her wife, finally...just not the way Byleth wanted her to, as they wrestled for possession of the strap.

“Toph meh!” Byleth tried to mutter, holding the strap in her mouth and biting down on it so that Edelgard couldn’t take it from her as she tried to grab onto it.

“No! I’m not topping you, you useless bottom-!” Edelgard protested.

“Youf are aready tophin meh!” Byleth retorted, as best as she could with the strap still in her mouth, as they both struggled.

Edelgard groaned. Byleth groaned. Both insisted, stubborn and frustrated.  
But some way, somehow, their lust got the best of both, and Byleth finally let go.  
The strap ended up flying across their room, and Edelgard's mouth claimed its place over Byleth's lips.  
Somehow, they settled on taking turns, constantly switching who was on top of who.  
Somehow, they both ended up tired, sweaty, and full of hickeys all over their bodies after hours and hours of taking out their frustration in passionate sex.  
Until they stopped, completely exhausted, catching their breaths as they slumped on their bed.  
After a moment, Byleth broke the awkward silence;

“I won. Again.”

“Because I topped you first? You wish! You were on top of me more times tonight than the other way around!” Edelgard remarked.

“So I guess we both won, then?” Byleth smugly proclaimed, and Edelgard couldn’t help a smile.

“I guess we both won, then.” Edelgard repeated, “and...we’ll leave it at that. We’re both stubborn, and fighting you is the last thing I want to do...much less when it’s about a matter so...uh, trivial, let’s say.”

Edelgard then turned around, facing her wife as she took her hands in hers, and gave them a gentle kiss. One that Byleth was quick to repay, moving closer to her wife and kissing her temple.

“Sorry.” Byleth finally let out, awkwardly, but Edelgard quickly shook her head;

“We were both acting like idiots. It’s my fault too.”

“It was somewhat funny though,” Byleth added, with a smile, “to see you act so...differently from your usual self, I mean.”

Edelgard laughed.

“I’ll have to agree with you, my love. And…” Edelgard continued, only to stop herself from saying whatever it was that she wanted to say, “no, nevermind.”

Byleth thought of asking her to tell, but even she was too awkward and embarrassed to go on.  
Some things were better left unsaid, perhaps.  
Because Byleth wanted to say something too, but stopped herself as it was too painful to admit it;  
Yet, little did they know that the things they were thinking and that they wanted to say to each other but were too embarrassed to say were the same:

As stupid as their little fight to see who got to bottom had been, it had been very hot too.


End file.
